photo by Harsha K REpic friendships have been forever forged -- and hopelessly sunk -- in the unpredictable seas of travel.

For most of us, the joy of companionship is an indispensable element of a memorable trip. And when it’s good, it’s good: together we leap in to a rarified wrinkle in time. Electrifying experiences and madcap adventures, free from the scourge of ‘real life’, exist in a magical capsule and weave themselves in to the lasting fabric of our friendship.

But when things go wrong, snafus, delays, endless irritations and exhaustion, unfamiliar surroundings and a pinch of too much togetherness can unleash the shrill, irrational worst in us. And bad behavior mixed with great expectations can not only poison a vacation but sometimes, spiral in to the break-down of a friendship.

With that in mind, the following six tools provide a kind of psychological travel insurance -- a little up-front investment in the emotional terrain of our vacation protects against irreparable damage, regardless of what the travel gods may have in store.

Before You Go

1. Lay the Bricks

Before you start shelling out deposits, sit down and discuss expectations. Why this destination? What do you hope to experience, learn, or try? Be exhaustive and candid and don’t make assumptions, no matter how well you know each other. Cate’s spa trip to Cancun took a nasty turn when her docile childhood friend checked in an unexpected alter-ego: the recently divorced “Sybil” (as Cate dubbed the evil twin) blew off massage appointments for poolside margaritas that segued in to late-night binges at the discos, then stumbled in to their room with conquests in tow. But when confronted, Cate’s friend was indignant: it was Mexico, after all –universally famed for exactly what her wounded libido needed – a place to party and blow off steam.

2. Matchmaker, matchmaker, send me a dream...

Are you a planner? A fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants-er? Up at dawn raring to go, or is sleeping in and lazing over cappuccinos ‘til eleven more your speed? Each of us has a unique travel persona, and you’re well-advised to know yours, and your travel buddy’s. If you catch a thrill living on 25 Euro a day and she wants to blow half her annual salary in the boutiques along Paris’ avenue Montaigne, you might want to rethink – no matter how much you enjoy her company.

3. Make a Treasure Map

Make an individual list of experiences you yearn to have on the trip. Compare inventory, merge your lists, pare down, and voila - the blueprint for your adventure. A couple of caveats: if something makes the cut that one of you just can’t accommodate (you want to go bungee jumping and she’s terrified of heights) don’t scrap it: honoring each person’s hearts’ desire is an essential act of good faith, so just plan for the time apart. And resist the temptation to pack too many to-dos on your list -- a single goal for each day is do-able, and leaves time for the rare pleasure of the unexpected.

Once You're There

4. Rewind, Pause, Play

Over hamburgers and fries, a glass of wine, a long hike -- whatever suits your travel style and destination –share 3 things that amazed, inspired, or surprised you each day. You can put pen to paper, if you like - a written journal of insights is a fun treasure to look back on - but the point is to make a practice of enjoying your diverse, or mutual, perspectives, and appreciating the unique track of your adventure.

5. Meet my friend “Me”

Carve out alone time - even if you’re getting along swimmingly. Throw down a blanket at a local park. Peruse those back-alley markets that caught your eye. Wander an empty beach. Even if it’s just sweating it out on a hotel treadmill, taking solo time to distill your experience will bring space, and grace, to the 24x7 togetherness that seems so grand until all that co-dependence erupts in an unexpected cloud of claws and fur and hissing.

6. Pull the RipCode

We all crack under pressure, lose our perspective, melt down – but in close quarters, far from home, at the expense of another, it’s a major buzz kill. Enter the ripCode: a pre-determined word or phrase that warns your pal of the approach of an imminent freak-out, giving her the option to run interference, hold your hand -- or just get the hell out of your way.

On an ill-fated to South America, a ripCode proved to be a lifeline to sanity for a girlfriend and me – allowing us to alternately support each other and safely let off steam. Its mere utterance became a strange source of humor as things got ridiculously more catastrophic, and now it’s worked itself in to the permanent language of our friendship.

Happy Sojourns!

photo by Harsha KR

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Shannon Skaff lives and works in Santa Monica, CA, but was born and raised in the Hawaiian islands. The experience of living 2500 miles from anything -- surrounded by the ocean, in the lap of exquisite beauty, yet quarantined from any neighboring cultures or experiences -- in large part fashioned her in to the curious traveler and writer she is today.

She's explored in the U.S. and beyond: Paris, London, Toronto, Athens; a multitude of Greek and Caribbean Isles; Tahiti, Spain, Chile, Peru, Mexico, Jamaica, and Italy, where she lived and ventured for half a year.

Next on her wish list? Turkey and New Zealand.